A Visit to A Ukrainian Hospital

I thought I'd give you a sneak peak of the hospital that I visited today.  I borrowed my husband's camera/phone so not to be obvious, but it was still too noisy.  Because of that I only took two pictures...not very good pictures at that, but a picture.  I didn't actually get a picture at the delivery hospital because there were too many people.  The hospital that I go to is the nicest one I have seen in Ukraine since coming in the Kharkov region.  I don't know if it's just because I am use to it (or a LOT worse), but I thought "Wow!  This isn't too bad.  Everyone will wonder why I'm anxious at all with this hospital."  The first picture was taken on the bus ride over.

 

The hospital/clinic where I had my blood tests done.  First one is a little crooked - but clear.  The second is blurry but straight, so thought I'd show you both.

I went planning on looking my best so that I wouldn't get any comments like "You need to stop having kids.  Look at what it's doing to you!", but it was so hot that water was pouring off of me and my face was as red as a tomato.  Oh well.  I'm still trying to figure out how the Ukrainian women can continue to look so perfect in this heat, but they haven't shared that secret with me yet.

 

Surrendering to have my baby here this time has been a huge battle and struggle that VERY few know about...two people and my husband.  To say I didn't want to have my baby here would not even come close to exposing the battle that has gone on in my heart.  I know, you are all thinking "Why?  You've already had 3 there!".  But it's different this time, maybe because of how rough the last pregnancy was.  I think the hardest part is not the lower standards of medical care here, but rather the lack of choice and freedom.  In this socialized medicine country, I do not have the freedom to choose my doctor or even where I want to give birth.  Well, I guess I have a little choice in doctors, but they have to be in the hospital in our region...and since all of the rest are male doctors, well, that kinda limits my choice.  Ever since my last pregnancy I prayed "Lord, please don't let me get pregnant again until I can go back to the states and have my baby.  I don't care if I have all of the rest here, but just this next one I'd like to be able to relax, enjoy my pregnancy and do what I want."  When I found out I was pregnant I had a small hope that we might be able to go back to the states...I even contacted a midwife.  I begged, cried and pleaded with the Lord.  There was nothing in me willing to stay here.  To say that I fought is not the whole truth.  I stomped my feet while everything in me screamed, "NO!"  I was so exhausted from my fighting that I could barely do anything.  I wept like I have not wept in a long time.  I felt so alone and did not feel like I could talk to my husband lest I let my emotions persuade him into doing something against the will of God.  I did not understand why God was expecting this of me.  I mean, OTHER missionary wives had the choice of where they wanted to have their babies and I had already surrendered so many times.  Why couldn't He let me have a break once?  You can read how God worked on my heart in the post I Feel Like Talking, but the battle was still pretty secret.  Thankfully, I have not struggled since then.  To say that it is easy would not be true, but I am not fighting which makes it a lot easier.  Reminds me of labor - painful, yes, but so much easier to go through if you relax through the contractions.  I have hesitated to post this because I know I will get some criticism, but I do not claim to be a super missionary.  I am no one special.  I am just surrendered.