Heart Transplant

A few months ago Eric came to me and said he was feeling like God may not be wanting us to go back to Ukraine and would I mind if he started praying, asking God where He wanted us to go.  Of course I agreed and even agreed to pray together at night with him.  But after he was asleep, sometimes even before that, I would silently weep - trying my best not to let him hear me, begging God to bring me back to my home.  Not just my house, I told God that even Western Ukraine was okay.  I felt as if my heart was being cut out.

As time went on, I had a very hard time being in that "waiting on the Lord" period.  I was reading through Genesis at that time about Noah and oh!  How I felt like I could relate!!!  I was just waiting for that ark to rest somewhere and the doors to open!  When Eric came to me about Victory, I could feel that it seemed like God was calling us there.  It seemed as if our ark came to a rest and I was ready to get out.  At each step, I felt for Noah's wife, especially as the last dove did not return and they removed the covering to see dry land.  How exciting!  Then to have to wait ANOTHER two months for God to open the doors!  But God knew things weren't ready yet.  How I could feel that desire to jump from the window!!!

I truly feel as if I've had a heart transplant.  That is my home ~my life, completely different from this one in America and unless you've been there, it's probably not understandable.  I love those people and have felt like they are MY people.  Eric and I had even started looking into what we needed to do to switch our citizenship in case we were told we had to leave.  But God had other plans.  I feel as if my heart has been taken out and buried there.  At the same time, I can feel that God has already been giving me a new heart and I feel excited to see what God is going to do.  I feel a love already for the dear people in Sutherlin.

Oh, it is still very painful at times and I will probably still cry if I talk about it (I'm crying now), but what a peace and joy there is in God's will!  I guess when you go through surgery you have pain for years.

But, do you want to know something amazing?  About a year or two ago I started to get very burdened for the family and friends of missionaries - America really.  I cried and prayed out to God regularly,  "Lord, we are giving up everything, following You to tell others about Jesus Christ.  What about OUR family and friends dying and going to hell in America?  Please, send someone to them!"

OH!  How I greatly desired for God to answer my prayer!

I just didn't realize ~

He wanted me!

Waiting on the Lord

As soon as we both heard it, we looked at each other and Eric said to me, "You know what that sounds like?"  "Yeah, the Russians are bombing us..." I replied somewhat jokingly.  We both came up with different things it could be and tried to go through our days ignoring the rumbling, the noise and it lighting up the night skies at night...it was just because we were hyped up about the situation that we were thinking like this, they must just be digging for gas. (The Wednesday night I wrote about when the fields were burning, we found out later was not actually burning fields but the military base near us training.)   We were seeing Ukrainian tanks and military on a constant basis and we knew that the Russians were gathering on the border only 30 kilometers from us.  We couldn't share this with friends and family because they were concerned enough.  But as the week went on, things only started to look worse.  People in our village were almost constantly drunk and some were starting to threaten to get rid of us.  Almost every time we called our church people, they thought we were going to say we were leaving.  When we met with different people and said see you later, they would reply with, if you are here.  They were very sweet to us and a few of them checked up on us during the weeks to make sure we were okay.  There were several times we looked at tickets back to the States, but after praying about it, felt peace about staying.  Thursday night, Eric talked to a few people and prayed all night.  Friday morning when we woke up he told me to pack my bags we were flying out the next morning. 

What changed our minds?  I can't really tell you.  We went from having perfect peace about staying to feeling a sense of urgency about getting out.  Before that day, there were a few things that we did not want to leave without finishing, like Gala's Bible lessons and putting a John and Roman on every door this year (past year) in the village, and we completed all of that just the week before.  Maybe God was just waiting for that to be finished...whatever it was, Eric now felt peace about leaving.  When I went to order the tickets, I kept asking, "Are you sure?"  As we shared that decision with others, it seemed like many of the Ukrainians were actually relieved.  I must admit, I felt like they would feel like we were betraying them, leaving them in their time of need - that's how I felt.  But they were concerned that the Russians were going to start the war in our front yard and how would we get out fast with five little ones?  Some have told us that they don't know if our house or the church will be standing when we get back.  I know it is in the Lord's hands and trust Him to bring us back to our home and to the people He has called us to.  The entire time our prayer was that the Lord would direct us what to do in His perfect timing.  On Sunday, we had a lady come up to us crying saying that she has felt an urgency to pray for us lately and has been praying for us to have wisdom concerning what to do.  I know many of you were praying the same way and we greatly appreciate it.  Thank you!

When we first told the children, they could tell we were upset and started to cry.  Since then, we have tried to make it out like a fun vacation and they will get to see Grammy and Grampy!  They still made sure to tell Vasily to give our dog back when we come home. hehe. 

The kids were pretty excited at finding smileys at the place where we are staying. :)

Our home and the church is being watched by Vasily.  He is staying in our home and checks the church twice a day.  I must admit I was a little apprehensive about this since we have had so many deceive us in the past.  He does truly appear sincere, yet there is always a little bit of nervousness.  I had hoped that Lina and her family could stay, but her husband moved their family to Western Ukraine.  I am glad that they will be safe, or at least are closer to the border if they need to escape the country.

We would truly appreciate your prayers for our people at this time and for us as we anxiously await going home.  We are keeping in close contact with them and Lina and her husband are keeping us up to date with any news they hear that we may not read from here.  Pray also that we may get the rest we need as it has been a long year and we have been running since furlough  Our church people are truly a blessing.  In all the years past, whenever we had to leave the country even for a short period to renew our visas, there was always a dreadful feeling that we would be coming home to a mess in the church and have to start from scratch.  It has been so exciting and encouraging to see those we have seen saved grow in their faith!  Vasily said it was a test for them and that God wanted them to grow more.  What a blessing it is!  It also seems like God may have answered my prayers concerning a Russian mama.  A few years ago, our dear Valentina, our Russian mama, left the church.  I had prayed that maybe God would bring us another one.  Over this past year, God has only drawn Gala closer to our family.  This past week, God brought her to salvation!  She has been very concerned about our family and has said she considers us family  It is exciting to think that God may have answered my prayers when I had almost given up hope.

A Village in Smoke

Driving through the villages tonight on our way bringing people back to the city, everyone's attention was brought to a large fire.  Everyone was a little startled and someone said they thought it was a house.  As we continued we noticed another one, then another one.  Because of all that is going on in the country, they were most likely thinking it was the Russians.  This sight was nothing new to Eric and I...it is burn season in the village and they were burning the fields.  If you sit up on the hillside and look over the village, it is covered in smoke during this time of year.

 As we were driving through the city, one of the ladies said that it seemed like there were more large vehicles on the roads than usual, saying that maybe the Russians had sent them there to scare us...but that we weren't scared.

The church still has a sweet atmosphere - possibly sweeter than before, yet over everyone's heads looms the thought that the Russians are coming...that they are already here.  There are so many rumors floating around and we have tried to keep their attention focused on Jesus and the peace that He brings.  We are in a part of Ukraine which has probably seen the least amount of the problems, yet there are always the "What if's" which for some people has been debilitating.  They can do nothing but watch the news...and some just get drunk.

Yet through all of this, God has answered one of the prayers dearest to my heart ~ for Gala to be saved.  I have been doing Bible lessons with her for some time now and she was so much on my mind that I even had dreams of her almost dying before getting saved.  She is the first person that I have done the lessons with.  Some days I felt so incapable of presenting them to her.  It was extremely difficult to keep her attention at times - especially with cute, little Abigail there.  Yet it was such a blessing to be able to be a part of sharing the Gospel with her!  As we approached the last lesson, I carefully prayed and studied.  When we sat down to do the lessons, it felt like there were more distractions than usual.  Once Eric took Abigail, that helped, but even with no cuties there to distract her, she easily got talking about different things besides what we were talking about.  Lina and I could both feel the spiritual battle for her soul. She already knew so much, yet could not point to a time in her life where she had made Christ her Savior. At one point, Lina turned to me and asked what else should we say as we were sitting there in silence. I said, Let's pray. Then afterwards I turned to Gala and asked her if she were to stand before God today, before the judgement seat of Christ, could she stand there 100% sure, knowing, without fear that He would let her into Heaven. She sat there quietly, with her hands by her face for quite some time. Then said no. This time as we talked to her about a moment in her life when she had repented of her sins and asked Jesus Christ as her Savior she said that there had not been. She said she wanted to. I cannot think of a good word in English to translate what she said after, it was something like now her life would be lighter, brighter, happier, enlightened...all those words plus more. The Russian word seems so much better. She immediately asked us where she should start reading her Bible!!! My heart is full with gratefulness and joy!   

So you see, yes, there may be rumors swirling all around us, but we cannot leave unless/until it is God's timing and will for us to leave.  If we had left when everyone was telling us we should, I would not have been able to be used to help lead Gala to the cross. 


All growing up this was a favorite verse of mine and I have found myself turning to it over and over again this past year...
 
"If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him." James 1:5
 
This is our prayer. For God to give us wisdom. That is probably the best way you can pray for us. It would be so easy for us just to leave until things calm down, but I truly and completely believe that I am more safe here in GOD'S WILL then anywhere in America. 

So, how can you pray? Pray first for the Ukrainians to be saved. Pray specifically for Lina's family (her husband, her dad, her brother).  God has already changed Lina's husband's political perspective...which is a miracle in itself.  Now we are praying for his spiritual perspective. Pray for those we have come in contact with over the years (Dr. Larissa, Pasha and his mom, Dr. Andrea). Secondly, pray for God to give us wisdom as to what He would have us to do in each circumstance. I love you all very much and am so grateful to have so many on their knees praying for us and Ukraine. Thank you!

Wars Within and Without

It has been so long that I hardly know how to even get started blogging again!  This past year has contained so much that would to fill many blog posts, yet the ability to write seems to have completely left me.  So many blessings and so many struggles!  In our entire time here, I cannot remember a time when we have seen God work so much in the lives of the people here but I also cannot remember a time when we have been under such attack.  One of those blessings of course was our dear, baby girl ~Abigail Grace.  It truly was God's grace in giving her to us for she can bring a smile to your face no matter what you are going through.  We have had answers to prayers like co-workers and those who we've been praying for get saved.  Through all of this, there have also been struggles.  I was brought to my knees...to my face many times this past year.

It felt as if we were attacked on all sides.  On the physical side, my baby boy was brought to the emergency room before his second birthday twice.  The first time was not even 24 hours after Abigail was born.  Daniel grabbed a can out of the trash and cut his finger.  Eric brought him in and he had to have stitches.  That's no big deal - except I knew where he had brought him.  I had seen how rough the nurses were with Anna when she broke her collar bone and this time it was a different doctor who would not allow Eric to go in with him.  It made my heart faint!  To know my baby was in there with a bunch of strangers who were most likely not being very kind to him.  Eric paid them extra for the cosmetic stitches and for anesthetics.  The bandages accidentally came off one time and we noticed that they had not used cosmetic stitches but instead the cheaper stitches.  I felt sick.  Not so much at that thought, but at the possibility that they had just pocketed the couple dollars instead of giving him anesthetics to help with the pain...figuring he would cry anyways.  How I wished that Eric would have at least stayed to make sure they administered that!  I vowed NEVER to allow them to do anything else to my babies without me or Eric being there with them.  The second time was New Year's Day.  New Year's Eve Daniel had a big bruised looking bump on his leg and a high fever.  We were nervous about bringing him in especially since all of the doctor's we would trust were on holiday break, but we felt like it was serious.  When Eric got there they told him it was an infection and he needed to be brought in and have it opened and drained right away...but Eric could not go with him.  Eric said he would just fly him out to America or somewhere else then.  They said he had that right, but they did not think there was time for that.  He could tell they were getting irritated with him for not just doing what they said right away.  What a hard decision!  Just remembering makes me want to cry all over again!  After consulting with a few other people both Stateside and here in Ukraine, we agreed to do it.  How hard it is just to hand your baby over to someone else when they could not even assure you that you would ever see him again!  Originally they told Eric he could stay the night at the hospital, just not with Daniel; but when Daniel came out of surgery, they told him he had to leave.  They told him Daniel was being moved into the intensive care unit and to come in the morning with all of the other parents to find out how he was doing, they did not even take his phone number...again warning him that there was still a possibility he could die and it could be 3 days before we could see him.  I don't know if I've ever cried so hard.  All I wanted was to hold my baby - yet he was SO far from me and I did not know if I'd ever get to hold him again.  Laying there curled up, rocking - not knowing if I was going to wake up and find out my son did not make it through the night- I was brought to my breaking point.  Eric sensed it too and knew there was a good possibility that we may be heading back to the States.  It was more than a strong consideration for me, what exactly my thought process was I cannot remember.  I do know that the Lord is gracious and merciful to my frailties.  I surrendered myself and my son again to Him.  How grateful I am that God did not chose to take my baby!  And that He did not make me wait 3 days to see him!  When Eric talked to the doctor the next day they said Daniel was awake and screaming.  They were going to move him to a regular room and Eric could stay with him!  (Probably because Daniel was too much work to try to hold down in bed.  I guess he was kicking and screaming quite a bit, probably from all of the strangers and being in a strange place hooked up to IVs.)  To be honest, it is only by the mercy and grace of God that I am still here.  I am humbled that He would continue to use such a weak vessel as I.

Besides our physical trials, there have been the spiritual battles within the church.  One of the biggest of those was with Slavic and Olea, who have since left the church.

Then there are the wars without, which I am sure all of you know about.  At the moment, we have perfect peace about staying here and we are seeing God confirm that decision by blessing and answering some prayers that are closest and dearest to our hearts.  I will share those blessings and answered prayers in my next post (hopefully very soon), since this post has ended up being much longer that I intended...and MUCH more open and candid than I planned.  I think that is the biggest reason I have avoided blogging - I was afraid of sharing too much of my heart.  It's a little scary to do that, but I pray that God will use it.  I look forward to sharing with you next time how little all of this is in comparison to God's blessings.  Pray for Ukraine.  Pray for their salvation, and pray for us.

"We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;"

II Corinthians 4:8

To Walk Worthy

 Abigail with Gala

Thank you all so much for your sweet, encouraging emails.  Each of them were such a blessing to me.  I have tried to reply to each of you.  If you have not received an email back, it is because I sent it, but my email said it did not send a couple.  I will retry again once I get a chance. 

Things around here have been busy as usual, with people coming in and out constantly.  This is something I've had to get use to as I greatly enjoy "my" privacy and "my" quiet time. 

For those of you who don't know, our dining room/living room is also our bedroom.  So even through the night, kids are coming through to go to the bathroom, and this past week, others were to.  But there is one time of the day when it is quiet (at least in the winter when it is dark) and that is early in the morning between 5- sometimes 7.  That is when Eric and I get up, light a candle on the table and read our Bibles.  Sitting next to each other in sweet quietness, sharing what God is showing us.  During the week that Slavic, Olea and Vasily were here, it was sometimes a little interrupted, but for the most part, we still had our quiet time...except for one morning...

Abigail has been pretty restless at nights, so one particular morning I propped up some pillows and stayed by her while starting my devotions.  In comes Vasily, pulls up a stool and sits at the table in MY SPOT!!!  "I'm not disturbing anything am I?" he asks Eric.  The first thought that comes into my head is, "Oh, no.  You're not disturbing anyone.  This is just the ONLY time Eric and I have together, but no.  You're not disturbing anyone."  Afterwards, I almost starting laughing about it.

So, God has been teaching me patience and love this past year.  It is quite funny.  I thought I had it down.  I've even been complimented multiple times on how patient I am.  So, even if I was failing in every other area, I was good in the patient area. hehe...Pride goeth before a fall.  Thankfully, God hasn't just been giving me testing, but has also been encouraging me and convicting through Scriptures almost daily about it.  I thought I would share one of my devotion journal entries from this past week. 

12/14    Ephesians 4

4:1  "I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you that ye walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called,"

~ To walk worthy of our calling...

        We are not worthy of the privilege to be missionaries, yet the Lord has allowed us to be here.  It is not the lowest calling someone could have on their lives, but it is a privilege.

4:2 "With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love."

~ We aren't supposed to puff ourselves up and say, "Look what I am."  No. We are to serve realizing just how unworthy we are of this position.  It is not because we are super Christians that we have been called to the field.  God says He likes to use the weak things so that He can be seen and glorified rather than for us to be seen and glorified.

~ He also says we are to forbear one another in love.

         Sometimes on the mission field, we will just have to forbear in love because, for the most part, we are surrounded by baby Christians who will do things wrong.  It would be very easy and natural to get angry and say, "You don't want to do right?  Well, forget you!"

        No.  We must forbear in love, tenderly and gently guiding them into the right path.

4:3 "Endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace."

~ Endeavor is a good word here as sometimes it is an endeavor to keep people in the Spirit in peace with each other.  It is an endeavor just to keep ourselves in the Spirit and at peace with other Christians!  We all have the fleshly tendency to gossip and get irritated with each other.

       I believe some people are better at this than others...Eric is so good at it and I can learn a lot from him.  Thank you Lord for giving me a peacemaking husband and pastor for our little, sometimes contentious, church here.  YOU knew what we needed.

4:7 "But unto every one of us is given grace according to the measure of the gift of Christ."

~He has given each of us a gift.  Some of us He has called to be missionaries, some teachers, etc.  Each of us that are saved have been called Christians and we ought to walk worthy of that calling - to be Christ-like.

         He says He has called us to be Christ-like and He will give us the grace to do it.

Why has He given us our different gifts or callings?

4:12 "For the perfecting of the saints, 

          for the work of the ministry,

         for the edifying of the body of Christ."

 I know it could probably be written out more beautifully, but I left it just as I wrote it.  Sometimes when we are going through some trials, especially with the people in our church, I have a tendency to say (like Moses), "Lord, why did you give us these people!"  But He reminds me over and over that I am not "above" my calling.  I am not worthy to be here.  I am weak and sinful.  I am not even above them, yet HE has called me and put me here.  Thank You, Lord, for choosing me and using me!  Thank you also for Your grace and strength as I am such a weak vessel!

To Surrender a Light Bulb

This past year since furlough has been a trying and exhausting year.
Over and over again, I found myself telling God that I needed a break.  I needed fellowship.
Over and over I found myself brought to a place where I was physically so weak that all I could do was lay down on the bathroom floor and cry, begging God for just some relief from my exhaustion.

At the moment, my mind is drawing a blank as to why it was so physically and spiritually draining for me.
It just felt like we had one thing after another happen.

I knew and know that this is where God wants us, but still I struggled with wanting to buy a ticket and fly back to America...even if it was just for a visit.

Would it have helped?
Probably not, but there is always this fantasy that "everything is better when OFF the mission field".

It's funny.
I thought I was surrendered.
Fully surrendered.
Yet I've come to realize, especially over the course of this past year, how truly selfish I am.

As our church has grown, I have been selfish of my husband's time and attention.
As our family has grown, I have been selfish of my own time.

On the outside, oh yeah.  I was surrendered.
I live in a small home.
Away from my family.

You know the list...

But I wasn't even willing to surrender a light bulb.

Oh, it wasn't your ordinary light bulb.
No.  This one is 'cool'.
You just pull the plug and there's light.
I liked this little light for doing my devotions and it is great when we lose electricity.

Well, a couple in our church lost electricity a few weeks ago and asked to borrow it.
My first reaction was, "NOOOO!!!"  They don't NEED it.  They just want it because it's neat.
They have matches and flashlights.  This isn't practical anyways because the batteries run out so quickly.
The Lord convicted me of my selfishness and I knew it wasn't just for them, but I wasn't willing to surrender it to HIM.  He has blessed me with SO much, and yet I wasn't willing to give a little light bulb.  So we gave it to them...happily.

Again, a few weeks ago I was feeling completely exhausted.
I just begged God for a break...maybe even for Thanksgiving. 
Just a few days to visit with another missionary.
God answered my prayer and another missionary couple invited us to stay with them for Thanksgiving!
You can imagine my excitement!

It wasn't going to be easy since it was the week we were doing all of our registration work, but we booked our tickets.

The day before we were to leave, we 'happened' to call a couple in our church to see if they could take care of our dog.
They were drunk.
Eric said he was going to go get them.
Right then I KNEW what was going to happen and what God would ask of me.
How I hardened to the idea!
The Lord KNEW how much I NEEDED this break!

Well, by the time Eric got home hours later, the Lord softened my heart so that I was willing to surrender.
We still had a GREAT Thanksgiving and I had the energy to go on.

Eric helped this couple a few times the past two weeks, yet they continued to get drunk.
We kept talking about how needed a mission was here, where people like that could stay...
we just needed a bigger house.
Yep, you guessed it!
Yesterday, they begged for help as they just couldn't stop.  So, we moved them into one of our rooms.
Another young man in our church is staying here too to help us.  (He is sleeping in the mudroom.)
And you guess what?
As I laid on the ground begging God for strength, I found out...
It was not a vacation I needed,
It was HIM.
Getting up from prayer, HE renewed my strength and my joy.

I have found out this past year,
surrender is not a one time thing...
it must be done daily.

And sometimes it's not the big things.

Sometimes it's just a light bulb.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I hope you all had a Happy Thanksgiving!

We didn't have a big thanksgiving dinner this year 

because we were planning on visiting other missionaries, 

but plans changed at the last minute.  

We still had a great day.

Vasily has been eating with us lately, so he came over and visited.

We also had a lot of Indians and Pilgrims. :)

 

Eric eluded the camera all day, so sorry, there's no pictures of him...unless you count the Indian mask.

Daniel ripped his Indian hat before we got started.

(Thank you, Anna and Lydia for making all the hats and decorations!  You did a GREAT job!)

 

Anna didn't think Abigail should be left out so kept adding feathers to her headband.

 

Everyone got to take turns being the photographer, so we have lots of pictures of Mama.

 

Then we played games...Sammy photobombed the first picture. hehe

I noticed afterwards that I didn't get as many as him.  Poor guy!

And lastly, EVERYONE wanted pumpkin pie.  BUT I didn't have time to buy a pumpkin (or squash) ahead of time.  Thankfully, I had enough pumpkin in the freezer to make mini pumpkin pies.  Eric was especially excited that they were gluten-refined sugar free.  We were planning on breaking it, but since we had to be home, he asked that I try to stay by the diet.  It has been fun to come up with different ways to make the things he likes.  He was even more excited about the cream and ate all the left over.  It was a cashew cream.  It's not Thanksgiving without pumpkin pie and what's pumpkin pie without cream?

Vladamir Vonavich

He sat there, slouched over in the chair, just listening to the conversations around him, when Anna came up to him.  

Her little hand slipped into his large wrinkled hands.  

His first thought was that she was trying to greet him.  

Then she sweetly and quietly asked, "Will you please go outside with me?"  

"Why?" he asked with a puzzled look.  

I quickly replied, "Her papa said that she could not go out unless an adult was out there..."  

Before I could finish, he was out of his seat and walking with her towards the door. 

By the time I made it out to the yard, they had already started a game of soccer.  I could not believe he was playing with them!  I rushed back inside to get my camera (everyone probably wondering what I was doing), turned it on, then Oh!  No SD card!  Then I remembered the old one still in my camera bag.  Just maybe, maybe...yes!  It still had enough memory on it!  

I quickly snapped a few pictures then sat down to watch them play.  I watched him, hunched over almost running around.  I watched him as he held his leg the entire time he played and thought, "He really shouldn't be doing that."  Then I looked up at his smile.  And I remembered the hard life he has had.

I remembered the years he spent caring for his bedridden wife with alzheimer's so bad that she would beat on him and scream "what did you do to my husband?"
He still brought her flowers. 

I remembered how disheveled he looked after she passed away. 

I remembered all of the other troubles he's had this past year.

I remembered all of this and looked at his happy face and wanted to cry for the sweet moments of happiness he was having.  And there was no way I was going to make him stop playing.

How thankful I am that God saved this dear, sweet man!

Getting Back

I took so many pictures of the Kuenzi's visit that I had a hard time narrowing it down!  They took even more than I did, of EVERYTHING.  The bread truck, our little store...they are much bolder with the camera than I am.  We get looked at enough without me flashing a camera around everywhere. ;)

They were a huge blessing - both physically and spiritually.  Not only did they help with evangelism, but they also helped paint my kitchen, got my laundry caught up for me (I NEED her to come back since it seemed like everyone had accidents the day after she left. :( )...but the thing I enjoyed the most was the fellowship.  I have felt lonely this term, which is one of the reasons I have avoided the internet.  Once I started getting back on, I only had time for things that took a couple of minutes and that definitely did not include the blog.  We have been rushing from one thing to the next ever since Abigail was born -VBS, the Kuenzi's visit, going to Kiev to get Abigail's birth abroad, etc.  We are finally starting to get back into somewhat of a routine - though I still crash as soon as the kids go to bed.  I fell asleep at 8:30 last night!  The time change is helping me get up earlier, which blesses me with a few minutes of quiet.  Many times I have thought about getting an apron to put over my head like Susannah Wesley did.

Even amidst my discouragement, God has been blessing us so much.  The church has been growing not just in number, but it has been exciting to see the growth in the new Christians and others coming to know the Lord.  Eric has a full schedule of Salvation Bible lessons and discipleship lessons and I have had the opportunity to give some lessons too.  As I shared before, I am really enjoying it.

I have felt really discouraged by my language skills lately - or lack of.  How I want to be able to fluently speak the language!  Eric says my biggest problem is that I don't like to talk unless I can do it perfectly.  I was encouraged the other day though.  Someone asked if I was speaking Ukrainian, since I had an accent.  The more we talked, I'm sure they understood it was just bad Russian. haha!

Also part of our weekly schedule now is mommy time out - either with Eric or Lina, and sometimes a few kids.  This has helped me get some things done that we have needed and also some time away from the house.  It has opened up many witnessing opportunities and special time with my girls.  They are growing into such good little helpers!

Well, baby Abigail is crying so my mind is having trouble writing. ;) 

Sunday Lessons

Another Sunday has past.  They go by so quickly!  This Sunday was the third Bible lesson that I have given.  It has been so exciting to give these lessons and God gave me a good "pupil".  Gala gets so into her lessons and everything is so new to her.  It makes it even more fun for me.  But at the same time it has been humbling and I almost cry at the end of every lesson.  Why?  I can't exactly put that into words.  I'm just so excited and nervous.  Please continue to pray for me that God will give me the words to say and that the Holy Spirit will give her the understanding and conviction to be saved.  She already readily admits she is a sinner, so that's a step.  Also pray that the kids behave during this time.  Our second lesson was a little harder for me because I had one sick kid and the rest kept needing something too.

Following services and Bible studies, Eric brought all the kids with him except Anna and Abigail to bring everyone home.  Anna and I enjoyed this girls' time alone and took advantage of it to play a game of Go Fish. 

As you can see, I am quite awful at it...or I have a little card shark on my hands.

Then we had some fun with the camera.  

 She took some silly pictures of me too, but don't think I'll be posting those. ;)

When Lydia got back she decided to try her hand at GoFish too.

I think I just may be their favorite person to play against.

I'm still planning on sharing with you pictures from when our visitors came in September.  We had such a great time with them and they were a HUGE blessing.  Tonight though, I am too tired.  Hopefully I can get to it this week.  Even though Abigail is 3 months today, we are still haven't seemed to find a routine for our family and because of that my computer time is limited to a few minutes here and there.  I think we're getting there.

Where is the Red Glare?

Intently he peered into the night, hoping for glimpses of the stars of freedom.  His persistence was rewarded as the thunderous noise of bombs burst into a red glare, illuminating our flag stating, "Freedom is still here!"  Anxiously he searched the shoreline as the early light of dawn cracked the horizon.  Our flag?  Our freedom?  Our America?  Was it still there?

Sitting on the banks of another shore, I peer into the approaching night to see if our flag is still there, searching for some evidence that we truly are still the home of the free and brave, but America is silent.  There is no light to the night sky.  The darkness of night quickly closes in, the colors of those broad stripes and bright stars start to fade, my heart cries out, "What happened?  Where are our brave?"  But there is no reason to question, I already know the answer why.  Not too long after our fathers fought and died, losing houses, lands and families for the freedom of our land, we started concentrating on ourselves building bigger homes and surrounding ourselves with comfortable things.  As we busily built up our homes, we ignored the little red flags as we really were busy and "I'm sure someone else will take care of that."  Our comfort zones became bigger and we could not stand up for truth, not for fear of losing our lives, but for fear of a raised eye brow.  And though I will still cry each time I hear our Spangled Banner sung as I fear I will not see the flag flying as the dawning approaches, I cannot spend my time searching for that beautiful flag of freedom.  No.  I must press forward while there is yet time, impressing the Bible upon my children's hearts and minds and compelling the lost, occasionally glancing to see if our flag is still there.

Oh, say can you see by the dawn's early light
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars thru the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming?
And the rocket's red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.
Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

Bogdan's Story

Do you remember Tamara?  We first came in contact with her in October 2009.  In January 2010, Eric started visiting her son, Ruselan, in prison and doing Bible lessons with him.  His wife and two sons were living with another man at the time.  This past year while we were in the States, he was let out of prison and reunited with his "wife" (they are technically divorced).  The Whites and Lina visited with them many times and the boys, Bogdan and Nikita, started coming to Sunday School and the Bible clubs they held.  Over the past year or so, he has heard the message clearly presented, but he never seemed to really pay attention.  I know Lina has wept for them and her desire (and ours) was that they would be saved.  As I mentioned, during our recent Bible Club, he raised his hand saying that he wanted to talk to Lina about being saved.  We were all bursting with excitement!  While everyone was busy with free time and pickup, Lina and Eric pulled him aside and talked to him.  They said he was very serious about it and readily admitted that he was a sinner and could not save himself.  About 30 minutes later, Bogdan bowed his head and asked Jesus to clean his heart!  When he came out, he was glowing, but definitely shy about all the attention.  We are praising God for this decision that he has made.

It is not going to be easy for him, though and we greatly covet your prayers for this young man and his family.  What does he have to go home to?  A father and mother who are hardly ever home...unless they are drunk.  It has also been gossiped that his mother sleeps around.  Please, please pray for them.  They have, on occasion, expressed a desire to change and even called this week wanting to meet with Eric and get their lives right...but they did not show up because they were drunk.  Bogdan is often called the "bad boy" in the family and is treated very harshly.  Pray that there will be an evident change in Bogdan that will draw the rest of his family to God.   

Missing In Action

You know it's been a little while since you made a post when you start receiving emails like, "Are you Okay?"  "How are you guys doing?"  "Time for another post."  I honestly did not plan on going this long without posting, it was just at the bottom of my list...which I still haven't reached.  Each time I'd think of writing, I'd look out at my garden...well, more like the weeds I was successfully growing.  Pulling myself away from the never-ending work - both inside and outside - has seemed impossible.  But I have been given a mild reprimand by my love as to the importance of updating everyone - especially family - and letting you know... We are not really missing, just missing in the internet world because of action. :)

What have you been missing?  I'm not sure I can fully update you, but I'll try my best.

My plan was to do a post on the most beautiful time to be in Ukraine - Spring.  Our particular area is not the most beautiful place in the world, but when spring comes around, it is breathtaking.  There are pink cherry blossoms, white apricot and plum blossoms...just about every fruit tree you can imagine lining the village streets with beauty and filling the air with their fragrance.

We enjoyed the light sweater weather for the short time we had it and the kids rolled around in the grass picking dandelions before we tilled up the ground for our garden.

Since then, the weeks have just flown by.  One of the biggest events was Slavic and Olea's wedding.  We did not have a ceremony for them at the church since they have been living together, but we went with them when they signed their papers.  They had asked me to take pictures for them.  I was very disappointed overall with the photos, but it was really neat to be able to tag along and see some of their Ukrainian traditions - like paying for the bride. ;)

Even though we didn't have a ceremony at the church, we did let them have a special meal following the Sunday service.  Olea had asked if I would make the cake (not because anything I had made looked good, she just loved the taste).  So, not only was I a wedding photographer that week, but also a wedding cake maker.  My rosettes were all drooping because of the heat, but I was pretty pleased with it overall.
 

These are a few of my favorites. :)

At home, I have been trying the kids out on different chores.  I came in one morning when Lydia was supposed to be vacuuming...

...she was teaching Daniel how to do it.   Don't know whether to be proud of my little mama taking her younger siblings under her wings or to be upset at her trying to get someone else to do her job. lol

In between everything going on, we managed a trip to the zoo.  Thankfully it wasn't too unbearably hot the day we went.  The kids had so much fun.  Their favorite part though was the park in the middle and the monkey blowing raspberries at them.  He took us by surprise, then the kids started doing it back.

Strawberry season is pretty much all over, but we (especially Anna and I since we did all of the work) were excited over our first strawberries.

The neighbor gave us a bucket of strawberries plus some, but Anna said she could tell which ones were ours because, "Ours taste sweeter."

With everything that has been going on, this pregnancy has gone pretty fast.  Only 4 1/2 weeks until baby Abigail is due.  The kids are very anxious to meet her.  And while I am SO ready to be done with these contractions which seem to start earlier and earlier and are harder and harder each pregnancy and be done with these pregnancy aches, I feel very unprepared for her to arrive just yet.  I know I'm going to have to let some things go, but I need to at least get her clothes washed!  We still are unsure about the "birthing" plan.  Emotionally it has been a little bit of a rough pregnancy and I have felt very much alone.  The doctor's visits at least have been easier as they "know" me now. hehe.  On one of my last visits the doctor was looking through the list of tests I am supposed to do and said something like, "Well, I would give this test, but I'm sure no one would do it anyways."  (No one meaning me. lol)  And at my visit this week they were all excited about the test results I brought in.  Lina asked weren't they waiting for them, which they replied no to.  It's nice to finally not have them pestering me about everything and finding something wrong all the time.  Now that she is more relaxed, I actually don't mind this doctor. 

Since my mind is starting to have trouble concentrating, I am guessing it is closing time.  Thank you all for your prayers and sweet emails.  I will try to do better at keeping up with you.

Ukrainian Resurrection Sunday

Joyous greetings of "Христос воскрес!" (Christ Arose!) replacing the normal hellos by those you meet.  To which the reply is, "Во истена воскрес!" (Of a truth, He arose!)  They have spent days, or even the entire week, in preparation for this day.  Most have worked all day Saturday preparing the pas-ha bread.  Olya doesn't have an oven yet and asked to use mine for making her pas-ha bread.  It takes an entire day, but they make a lot of bread.

1

 The dough took up my entire countertop!

Sunday morning the streets are filled with families carrying baskets filled with decorated eggs, bread, meats, cheese, alcohol, etc. that have been blessed by the priest.  If they have not already done so, they decorate the grave sites of their loved ones then every member of the family samples each of the items in the basket to avoid misfortune.  This is a holiday filled with much superstition and alcohol.  How sweet the sound of their Resurrection greetings!  But, oh!  How sad that it is nothing more than a mere tradition!

About 2 weeks before Resurrection Sunday (which was May 5th here this year), we received 2,000 tracts entitled "Christ Arose!"  The tracts were readily received and we were able to get almost all of them out!  Pray that God will open their eyes to the truth of the Gospel.

 

Max and Daniel (with Max's glasses).

Masha and Anna

Even with all of the drunkenness surrounding this day, God greatly blessed our services and we had over 30 in attendance!  We were thinking we would be low in attendance since many had said they would be at the graveyard.  Some still went to the graveyard that morning and just missed Sunday School, but made it for the morning service.

 The Sunday School class...Nikita was running around somewhere so is not in the photo.

 While the meal was being prepared, the kids played and the ladies tried to find cool spots to fellowship.  (It was in the 90s!)  We enjoyed a sweet time of fellowship and delicious food...and PLENTY of pas-ha bread.  Almost everyone wanted us to try their's. :)

Slavic and Yuri enjoying Pas-ha.

What a Privilege to Serve the Lord!

"I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you 

that ye walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called."

Ephesians 4:1

To walk worthy of where God has put me to minister, WOW!  What a task!  I feel so unqualified sometimes to be called wife, mommy, missionary!  My lack of patience, my selfishness glare me in the face, showing me how short I fall of being qualified for the position of wife and mommy!  And, even though I grew up declaring my intentions of being a missionary, I have become shockingly aware of the character flaws that seem to scream how unmissionary-like I am.  I am timid, easily reclusive and possessive of time alone with my faily, scared of moving outside my comfort zone (which is very small.  I mean, come on, who almost cries returning things to Walmart?), someone content to stay in the same, small town, near family her whole life.  Yeah, sometimes I think God definitely made a mistake in picking me.

Even though I am well aware of my failures in the jobs He has assigned me, I am still prone to ask, "Why me?"  "Why does so-and-so get to do such, while I have to do this?"  -Thinking of myself "more highly than I ought to think."  This verse always helps me to remember not only my faults, but Oh!  The privilege!  My job of serving my husband and being his helpmeet (not he mine); my job of lovingly training my children; my job as a missionary wife - it is not a burden placed upon already weak shoulders, but a prize worth working for!  

The orphanage we worked at while in the city. 

O, Lord!  Help me to view this calling as the privilege it is, acknowledging my shortcomings, but not becoming burdened by them.  Oh!  That I may walk worthy of the vocations you have called me to!

Our 1st Ladies' Meeting

{Here in the village, anyways.}

I know many of you have been anxiously waiting to hear how everything went and I'm so sorry that it has taken me an entire week to update you.

The Lord blessed and we had (I think) 12 ladies come, not including the girls and I!  How exciting is that?!  Our theme was "Have You Seen Yourself In God's Mirror?"

While I was waiting for Eric to bring the ladies, I thought I would take a few pictures for you, but, AHHH!  I had forgotten to charge my camera batteries!  I still managed a few quick shots before it completely died.  Eric was running all over the place that morning and still lovingly ran home to get my old camera.

We started by playing the game "What's in the bag?"  The ladies stuck their hands inside of the bag and had to guess what beauty items were in the bag.

 (Olya is the lady with the cream sweater and red phone hung around her neck.)

The second game we played was Design a Dress using only toilet paper.  Our models were Anna and Lydia.

After a delicious meal, made mostly by Lina and her mom, Lina and I put on a skit for the ladies.  It was of a lady who did not feel so beautiful and in an attempt to attain beauty, followed tips she heard would make her beautiful - refusing a mirror. 

I used this as a starting point for the devotional in which I compared that to us striving to be righteous but refusing to see ourselves through the mirror of God.  I did not actually see myself until the end of the devotional.  In closing I read James 1:22-25, and demonstrated the passage by walking up to a mirror looking at myself and shockingly exclaiming, "WOW!  I look pretty awful!"  I then walked and talked about how crazy it would be for me to see myself like that, then go to the store like all was in order and to a party, giving someone makeup advice while I was there.

Most of the ladies who attended are not saved and my desire is that they will not only look God's mirror and see themselves in need of a Savior, but also to repent and ask Jesus to save them.  I would like to ask you to specifically pray for a lady named Olya who is almost done with her salvation Bible lessons, that God would open her eyes and she would be saved.  Also, continue to pray for our neighbor, Sveta and her daughters (Nastia, Masha and Katya).  They were not able to come that day but she has let the older two girls come to Sunday school the past few weeks.  Anna is so excited as this is an answer to prayer for her.  She prays for them daily.