Wings like a Dove!

"My heart is sore pained within me...

And I said, 

Oh that I had wings like a dove!

for then would I wander far off,

and remain in the wilderness. Selah.

I would hasten my escape from the windy storm and tempest."

Psalm 55:4-8

For days now I have thought about writing and tried to write an update, but words seemed to fail me.  Instead of resting in the Lord, I have often been physically and mentally at a place of not being able to go on any further.  Tonight during our family devotions we were reading Psalm 55.  As soon as Eric started reading "Oh that I had wings like a dove!", we both looked at each other and started laughing.  He knows that sometimes that's how I feel...I just want to escape.  Escape from all of the scary coughing that grips my babies and makes them cry "I don't want this!  I don't want this!".  Escape from the whining "my nose!" or "Lyda's touching me!".  Escape from the restless nights and nap times due to the coughing fits.  And if that was not enough, in between all of this they have a bountiful supply of energy while I am barely able to move from lack of sleep!  Yes.  I have definitely wanted to wander off to the wilderness and remain there.

Often the Lord has brought to my mind that sweet song "It is Well With My Soul".  Specifically - "Whatever my lot Thou hast taught me to say, It is well, it is well with my soul!".  Oh!  How I long to be able to say those words!  I have been counseling others about the peace you can have when following God -no matter what your circumstances - but I myself had not peace or rest when my circumstances changed.

Even though David wanted to escape, this is his conclusion later in the chapter:

"As for me, I will call upon God; and the Lord shall save me.

Evening, and morning, and at noon, will I pray, and cry aloud: and he shall hear my voice.

He hath delivered my soul in peace from the battle that was against me: for there were many with me.

Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee; he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved." 

Psalm 55:16-18;22

The Lord will save me, hear me, deliver my soul in peace, and sustain me as long as I call upon Him.  So the times when I cannot say that my soul is at peace are the times when I am trying to do it on my on.  Nothing new, but Oh! sometimes so hard to practice!