(These were taken on the way to church, Wednesday night. Believe me, the belly is MUCH bigger than it looks.)
28 weeks and overdue for a doctor's visit. Though I knew I had to go, I was completely dreading it and could barely sleep the night before. You see, I am not a very submissive patient for them so they are never very happy with me. Every visit I have had so far, they have found something wrong with me, assigned me with a new list of tests and prescribed different things. This past visit it was an infection they found during the ultrasound. They then gave me a new list of tests to do. Eric was immediately skeptical and called our previous doctor for a consultation. She, of course, said everything was fine and not to bother with any more tests as pregnant women do not need the added stress of running around everywhere doing extra tests. (I just love her and boy do I wish she could be my doctor this time!) Not only did I not do the tests, but I put off the visit for a couple of weeks. Lina was away anyways, so this gave me a good excuse to take a break.
The dreaded day came and I woke up Tuesday morning with the decision to take at least one of the girls with me. Even if they didn't distract the doctors (and how could they not at least some?), I knew it would help keep me distracted. Lydia wanted to go so off we rushed to meet the train and Lina. After waiting for our turn, we opened the door and walked into the office. Their faces said they wanted to chew me out, but they quickly put on big, fake smiles. Lina and I were shocked at how composed they were. Besides them mumbling "awful" when I stepped on the scale (ugh...that makes every pregnant woman happy) and telling me it was hard to live with me, everything went pretty well. They talked a little about what to do about me, but I just let them talk to each other and explained different things to Lydia. She thought they were nice, hehe...but maybe that's because they let her step on the scale. ;)
After I was done there, they sent me over to meet with the therapist. She asked if anything was wrong (health wise), listened to my heart and marked ok. She then asked what we were doing here. When I explained that my husband was a pastor and gave her a tract, she immediately wanted to argue with me. I tried witnessing to her, but she didn't give me much of a chance to talk. Once she said what she wanted, she said goodbye.
Later that night, I lay awake in bed thinking of ways I could have worded things better, etc. Sometimes it is just so frustrating and I feel so helpless. I so desire to be a witness and a testimony and the words are clear in my head, but don't come out the way I want. Besides the fact that the doctor is very intimidating. I feel like it would help if I could do everything the way they want me to, but I just can't physically keep up with all of their demands. Now that I have stopped trying to do everything, I am able to enjoy this pregnancy. I pray that God will still help me to have a testimony, give me opportunities to witness and freedom in the language even though I am not able to do things 100% their way.
Lydia completely enjoyed her day out with mama and Lina. After we ate, we went out for dessert. When we set it down in front of her she started singing "Happy Birthday to Dede!" We know what she's ready for. ;)
Now that I've been through prenatal "care" once, I know I would never do it again. I did better by myself the first three times. I gained nothing from those doctors this last time, except stress. I'm praying for you with great sympathy!!!
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I went to them, thinking that it would help me with paperwork and documents. It didn't even make that part any simpler for us.
ReplyDeletePretty, pretty, pretty Momma!!! You're at the perfect stage right now... all pretty and glowy with a perfectly shaped tummy... not too little, not too big.... So cute!
ReplyDeleteYou look GREAT! And the girls are so pretty! I love the pictures of Sammy and the flour! He looks like he had a great time! lol
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