Obedient to Their Own Husbands

Ouch, ladies...think you can handle this one?

If you're still with me, brace yourself.  This is the last of our study on Titus 2, but may be the toughest.  Even though I'm sure I've read it many times, really hit me hard this past summer.  

Obedient - dutifully complying with the orders or instructions of one in authority 

It's funny {or more like sad}, but I've always thought and heard that a wife was SUBMISSIVE, which everyone said was different from obedience and made us equal.  The Bible doesn't actually say we have to obey, does it?  Only children have to obey, we have to be submissive.  How could I have missed this fact for so many years? 

First, I looked up the word obedience, then obedient, then obey.  There were so many good directions to take this study, but the one that grabbed my attention was

"Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right." 

Ephesians 6:1 

The same word is used, OBEY.  All I could think of was the title of that book {which I've never read but heard is good} "Me?  Obey HIM??"  So I thought about what obedience means in relation to my children.  With my children I expect them not only to do what I tell them, but to also have a good attitude, to do it right away, etc...or it is not obedience.  I also have certain expectations that they know they are to abide by~which I do not repeat to them {like never going to the neighbor's yard without my permission}.  I then looked up the word comply {to act in accordance with another's command or WISH}.  That's what I expect out of my children.  Can you imagine if that's what husbands today expected of their wives?  They'd never make it out of the house alive!  But that is the way the Bible says we should live.  Most of the time they are not going to give us a command, but we do know what they wish and we are to comply with that...not slowly or with a bad attitude, but immediately and happily.  Their wish should be at the top of our priorities.  How often does that happen?  If my kids put something else above obeying my command they would receive a punishment, but our husbands put up with this every day as we put the children and other things above his wishes.  Two other verses stood out to me. 

 "Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you."

Hebrews 13:17

He has been given the responsibility of watching and caring for our souls!  No matter how good or bad of a job we think he is doing, he is the one who must give account and we must submit.  The second verse was

 "If ye be willing and obedient, ye shall eat the good of the land." 

Isaiah 1:19

If we wish to eat of the "good of the land" in our homes and see only good fruit produced, we MUST be obedient unto our husbands.

Titus 2:2-4 is ended with ~ "that the Word of God be not blasphemed".  Wow!  That is pretty powerful!  When I don't obey my husband I am blaspheming the Word of God.  We would not even dream of blaspheming the Word of God, but many of us do it on a daily basis when we won't follow the instructions God has given us in Titus 2:2-4.  I pray that this study has been a blessing and help to you.  It sure was an eye opener for me!

For the rest of the studies on Titus 2 click here .

Good

Good ~ morally excellent; virtuous; righteous; having admirable, pleasing, superior, or positive qualities; not negative, bad or mediocre; beneficial

Again the definition itself is strongly convicting.  So many times I am satisfied with what I am doing. Satisfied to do a halfway job, satisfied to have the basics covered. I cannot be just an okay wife and mom. I need to not sit down and relax, but rather go above okay or mediocre and become excellent.  The definition of good also says "not negative".  How many times have I allowed negativity into my home or even BROUGHT it into my home? According to the Bible, I need to be only beneficial for my family.

I looked up verses for the word good, but the verse that stood out to me was actually one on virtuous.

"A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband:

but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones."

Proverbs 12:4

Am I a crown to my husband? Are my actions uplifting, encouraging and making my husband look {and do} better? Or am I destroying him with my nagging words, negativity, lack of trust? Am I rotting his bones? Lord, help me to be the best wife and mother I can be to my family and not to be satisfied with just doing a pretty good job. Help me to be positive and help me to be pleasing and admirable in the eyes of my husband and children.

This is not just an option.  God commands us in Titus 2 to be "good...that the word of God be not blasphemed."

Missed a lesson?
Introduction to Titus 2
To be Sober
To Love their own Husbands

To Love their own Children

To be Discreet

Chaste

Keepers at Home

Keepers at Home

KEEP ~ to provide with maintenance & support; to raise; to maintain; to manage or have charge of; to remain fresh or unspoiled; to prevent; to save, reserve; observe; to maintain in good condition; for an indefinitely long period of time  

HOME ~ an institution where people are cared for; comfortable & relaxed; a base of operations {Sounds like a military base preparing our children for battle.  Sending out good soldiers for Christ.}

Just reading the definitions was a lot in relation to how I am to KEEP my home.  After my mind felt like it could handle new information, I moved on to the concordance and my Bible.  Almost all of the verses that I read had to do with two things.

 

1) Keepers of prisons

Their job was very serious.  They could not be lazy, but had to fervently watch and make sure no one who was given to them was lost.  They were not in charge, but had to answer to a higher authority and were put to death if they lost anyone put in their charge. 

~God has given us a job just as serious as a keeper of a prison.  He has given precious souls into our care that we are to watch with the same intensity a keeper of the prison would watch over his prisoners.  We have not only been given our precious children to keep, but also we are to 'keep' {provide with maintenance & support; maintain in good condition} our husbands.  Oh!  How serious this job is!  We must not let any of them escape or we will give an account before God!

2)Keepers of gates

They stood there intently watching everything that went into the city and out of the city, protecting the city from enemies without and within.  They were not to get careless or let anything escape their watchful eye, for it could bring destruction to their city. 

~Just as the keeper of the gate, we are to intently watch EVERYTHING that comes into our home - by way of friends, music, computer, movies, etc..  We are also to watch everything "going out" - carefully watching our children for any seed of rebellion, laziness, etc...Satan is always looking for an opportunity to destroy the home and family and he will take any little opportunities he can get.

~We are to be a keeper at home FOR KEEPS.~  "...that the Word of God be not blasphemed."

Missed a lesson?

Introduction to Titus 2

To be Sober

To Love their own Husbands

To Love their own Children

To be Discreet

Chaste

Chaste

Starting again in the Titus 2 study, we are on the word chaste {morally pure; modest; simple in design or style}. 

Because there were not many verses on chaste, I also looked at Proverbs 9 -the opposite of a chaste wife.  Vs. 13 says:

“A foolish woman is clamorous: she is simple, and knoweth nothing.” 

Later in the chapter it says that she cries

“Stolen waters are sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant.” 

Am I modest and simple in my design or style of clothing? 

Or is my dress and attitude clamorous? 

Am I trying to draw attention to myself?  

Is my dress causing men to secretly lust after me? 

The {cultural} dress here is very different from America.  Everything in their dress is to draw attention to their bodies.  Everything is flashy and/or immodest.  I know that it is somewhat like that in America, but it is so much worse here.  In the summer, everyone is wearing see-through shirts and mini skirts that they must have bought in the children’s section.  Between the women and the naked posters/magazines, there is so much pressure to look beautiful and skinny.  Though I am not tempted to dress that loosely, sometimes when I am dressing I catch myself wanting to wear or not wear an outfit based on whether it makes me look slimmer and prettier or not.  I get caught up in the struggle to be beautiful in “men’s” eyes instead of asking myself 

“Does this outfit draw people to God? Or to ME?” 

Part of this is because, being an American, I am watched and judged everywhere I go.  And Ukrainians have told me {on more than one occasion} that Ukrainians are the most beautiful women in the world.  I pray that I will not let this pressure me and that I can be chaste {modest and simple in my style}, so that my dress does not distract from the Gospel but rather points people to Christ.  Instead of people saying, "Oh, what a beautiful, pretty lady!"  for them to say "She really believes the Bible and there is a difference about her."  and be drawn to learn more about CHRIST.

1 Peter 3:1-5 talks about an unsaved husband who is won to Christ because of the way his wife lives.  I think this also applies to the unsaved world around us.  A chaste wife is not a common thing in our world and the world is watching the Christian wife to see how she is different.  We either draw them to Christ or push them away.

Whether it's modest or not...why do you wear what you wear?  Your actions will show your heart.  Modest, simple clothing is ruined with a loud, attention-drawing demeanor.

We are to be "chaste...that the Word of God be not blasphemed".

Missed a study?

Introduction to Titus 2

To Be Sober

To Love their own Husbands

To Love their own Children

To be Discreet

~To be Discreet~

As I read though my study of Titus 2 I'm amazed at how much I miss sometimes by just reading through chapters.  This study has made me stop to seriously think and examine myself in light of God's Word.  It has been humbling how short I fall of being God's perfect woman. I've often wondered, if I was living during the time when Jesus was to be born, am I the type of woman He would have chosen to bear and raise HIS Son? I've always sadly had to admit no, but I pray that He will help me to become that woman.

God desires that I would be discreet ~ having or showing prudence and self-restraint in speech and behavior. Since their aren't many verses on discreet, I looked up the word prudent ~ careful about one's conduct. There were many good, convicting verses, but the main theme that stood out to me was that the prudent man knows which way he is heading.  

"A prudent man forseeth the evil, and hideth himself:

but the simple pass on, and are punished."

Proverbs 22:3 & Proverbs 27:12 

Proverbs 19:14 says "a prudent wife is from the Lord."

I cannot just let my children and my relationship with my husband just go with the flow, for that will only lead to trouble. I should always be searching and tending little weeds that may have grown up...weeds of rebellion -no matter how small- in the lives of my children...maybe a lack of communication between my husband and I, or being too busy to care for his needs like I should. Satan is always looking for a way to get in and can use the little rebellion in my children's lives against God. And here, there is always a woman on the hunt for my husband, who would be more than willing to shower him with the attention that he needs; and the immodesty here is more than most could even imagine.

In the books of Isaiah and Amos it talks about God punishing Israel by taking away their prudent men and as a result, they were under oppression and the children rose up proudly against their elders. It seems like in this day, prudence is lacking.  Most wives are under oppression, losing their marriages and raising disrespectful,arrogant children. I pray that God will not totally take away prudence and that He will help me carefully watch over the needs and direction of my family.

God commands us to be discreet "that the Word of God be not blashphemed".

Missed a study?

Introduction to Titus 2

To Be Sober

To Love their own Husbands

To Love their own Children

~To Love their own Children~

The week I was studying "to love their children" 1 Corinthians 13, a passage on charity, kept coming to mind.  I decided to look at the word charity and apply it to my relationship with my children.

"Now the end of the commandment is charity out of a pure heart, and of a good conscience, and of faith unfeigned."

1 Timothy 1:5

~ We're given a command to not only have the motions of love towards our children, but have it come from a heart full of love.

It says in 1 Corithians 8:1 that charity edifieth.  Edify means to encourage moral or spiritual improvement.  Do our actions encourage our children to be morally or spiritually better?

"Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety."

1 Timothy 2:15 

Sobriety means solemnity or deeply earnest.  One question that comes to mind when reading this passage is saved from what? We know that giving birth does not save us from our sins or eternal separation from God, so what could it mean?  The passage talks about the woman being deceived. So in context of this passage, she shall be saved from further deception or falling into sin if she submits to her role of wife and mother and does her job in faith, in CHARITY, in holiness WITH EARNESTNESS. If we take our job seriously, we also won't swallow the world's lies of needing a career for fulfillment or fall into the sin of wasting time.

1 Peter 4:8 says "Charity shall cover the multitude of sins" ...we all make mistakes in parenting.

"-Though I speak with tongues of men & angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.

-And though I have the gift of prophecy, & understand ALL mysteries, & ALL knowledge;
-and though I have ALL faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity,

I AM NOTHING.
-And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor,
-and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charitym, it profiteth me nothing."

1 Corinthians 13:1-3

~I think that's true in our relationship with our children too. We could do many great things, be the wisest person in the world, but unless we LOVE THEM we will LOSE THEM.

What is charity?  The Bible gives an excellent definition:

Charity
~suffereth long (Am I patient...long suffering...with my children?)
~is kind
~envieth not (Parents have to be careful of this with their children too.)
~vaunteth not itself (Are we boasting about how good 'we were' at such and such? Instead of being proud of the level they are at? )
~is not puffed up
~doth not behave itself unseemly
~seeketh not her own (Am I more concerned about me time, my clothes, my nails...instead of of my children and taking care of my home?)
~is not easily provoked (even with a lack of sleep)
~thinketh no evil

~rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth (faithful to discipline when necessary, but remember to love and be excited for them in the good)
~beareth all things (100 diapers, 3 wet beds/bedding, broken candles...all in one day!)
~believeth all things
~hopeth all things
~endureth all things."

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

We are not going to win and keep our children by our knowledge or wise words, but by our love..."Charity never faileth" but prophesies, tongues & knowledge shall all fail, cease & vanish away. "And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity." 1 Corinthians 13:8, 13

God commands that us to love our children "that the word of God be not blasphemed".  Are you blaspheming the Word of God?

Previous commands we have studied:

Introduction to Titus 2
To Be Sober
To Love Their Own Husbands

~To Love Their Own Husbands~

I took a break from posting the Titus 2 study while we were in Poland.  Now that we are home, I will start posting them again weekly.

When I first went in to this, I was thinking it might be kinda hard to find verses for "to love their own husbands"....but I was SO wrong. Using a concordance, I started looking up verses for the word love and was amazed at how much I have missed by not applying these verses in my relationship with my husband. I wrote down a million verses with many different ways to apply them, but the one that stood out to me the most was one of the first verses I read...

 ~ "He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends." Proverbs 17:9 ~

How many times have I brought back up something that he has done (which he can't even remember because it was so long ago)?

Other verses I read along those lines...

 ~ "Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins." Proverbs 10:12 ~

 Am I willing to cover up his sins or look past his faults?

~ "Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, then a stalled ox and hatred therewith." Proverbs 15:17 ~

He'd rather come home to a meal of bread and have me doting on him, loving him, giggling with him...then to come home to a perfect home, huge meal and a nagging, tired wife.

~"Will the Lord be pleased with thousands of rams...He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to LOVE MERCY, and to walk humbly with thy God?" Micah 6:7a,8 ~

The Lord has told us what to do. In Titus He says we are to learn these things (the things in verses 4,5) "that the word of God be not blasphemed."  Neither our husbands or the Lord will be pleased with me - no matter how much time in Bible study I spend or how much Bible I know - if I neglect to learn and do these things.

For those who missed it, here are the first two parts of the study:

Titus 2 introduction

To be Sober

"To Be Sober"

Sober.  What does that word mean to you?  Or, what do you think of when you think of a sober woman?  Sadly, to me it use to mean an uptight, serious, hair-pulled-back-in-a-slick-bun librarian.  The world has taken a quality of great beauty and value in the eyes of God and made it ugly and unattractive.

What is God's idea of a sober woman?

Concise King James Bible Dictionary

    Sober ~ to be in control of one's mind and life;  It refers to spiritual alertness and seriousness of purpose; prudence; temperance

Dictionary

    Sober ~ self-control; temperate (exercising moderation and self-restraint); devoid of frivolity or exaggeration

Just the definition of the word is enough to be convicting!  I'm overwhelmed even now as I read it and pray that I can keep focused and organized enough that this can be a blessing to you as well.

Sober refers to spiritual alertness and seriousness of purpose...  As I looked through verses on this word 1 Peter 5:8 stood out at me...  "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour."  Satan is out looking for someone to devour...will it be your family?  your son?  your husband?  Are we alert to the spiritual condition of our family?  Do we take our job serious and carefully examine every action we take, every word we say and consider whether it works with our goal for our family or against it?  In order not to allow Satan the opportunity to devour our family, we must   be in control of our mind and life. 

We must have control over our emotions.

"He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty: and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city."  Proverbs 16:32

When we are at home with our family, are we easily riled; or do we act calmly even when we have a good excuse to go crazy?  Do we get exasperated with our children? our husbands?  Lack of control with our spirit and temper leads to lack of control with our tongue and... 

We must control our tongue:

"There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health."  Proverbs 12:18

Is our tongue giving health to those around us or wounding?  Sometimes it might be better for us to not say anything at all.

"Whoso keepth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles."  Proverbs 21:23

We women probably cause most of the troubles in our churches and in our homes because we cannot control our tongues.  We would save ourselves and our families a lot of trouble if we could learn to control our tongues...but it just seems like a hopeless battle for us.  That is because the "words" start before the tongue.  "...for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh."  Matthew 12:34

So one of the first things we need to learn is....

We must control our thoughts.

"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."  Philippians 4:8

God has used this verse mightily in helping me to keep my mind focused on what HE would have me to focus on.  When someone hurts me and my mind wants to linger on it, I "check" through this verse..."Is what I'm thinking true?" (I almost always mind check yes because it was "true" -maybe not in the context of this verse, but I'm upset and looking to excuse myself),  "Is it honest?"....By the time I get to "Is it worthy of praise?", I am willing to let go of my thought and think on the things Christ would have me think on.  No, I am not perfect (in fact, I didn't want to post this study this week because I have failed more than succeeded in this area this week) and I sometimes allow myself to dwell on things like "He could have taken out the trash.  He doesn't do anything else!"  "Everyone has fogotten me.  No one loves me."  "I do everything!" (remember our definition devoid of exaggeration?  The mind can sure exaggerate a problem!).  But it is then that I lose control of my tongue and start having troubles in my life and in my soul. 

We haven't even touched the surface of being sober, but just reading through a few verses in the Bible we see a different view of a sober woman.  What we see is a woman who is sweet, kind, in control of her words, not loud, not moody, is not affected with what is going on around her, who uses her words only to encourage and edify others - she has a purpose and that is to glorify God; to be beautiful to God.  She is careful over each action she makes and each word she says, knowing that it could either draw her family or others to God or push them away.  How beautiful this woman is!  And, oh, how I desire to be her!  I pray that the Lord will help me "to be sober...that the word of God be not blashphemed." 

Titus 2 Study

"That they may teach the young women to be....

that the word of God be not blasphemed."

Titus 2:4,5

Even though I've read through this passage many times and heard it taught multiple different ways, these words seemed to hit me like never before.  Was I blaspheming the Word of God?  I decided if it was so important to God as to call it blasphemy to not follow these things, I needed to know what they were.  So I started studying Titus 2:4,5 word by word using only the dictionary, the concordance and my Bible.  Over and over again I was convicted by how many ways I have blasphemed the Word of God, and sometimes still continue to blaspheme.  It is a study that I will need to review very frequently and would like to share it with you.  We will take one word each week.  I urge you to study this word, examine your life and pray for God's help to change in the area(s) He convicts you in.

I look forward to reviewing this study again, sharing my heart with you and hearing from you.